Oxnard's newer parks are nice,
But their plumbing won't suffice
If your bladder isn't huge;
Some bean counter (who's a stooge)
Made the conscious choice, I'd bet,
That these parks should not be 'wet' –
Meaning there aren't any loos
For an anxious gal to use
As she's riding through the hood...
Simply put, that isn't good.
I can quite well understand
Why these parks have all been planned
With no johns; it saves on cost,
Less grafitti, plus they've crossed
Off some items on the list
That inspectors must insist
Be accounted for in full
(Even though a lot are bull).
But the major factor, guys,
Is just RISK - so I surmise.
If some pervert's dark misdeed
Happens there, it's guaranteed
That before his trial goes down,
His poor victim sues the town
For a billion bucks or so,
Since they certainly should know
Public bathrooms pose a threat
To society, and yet
They persisted with the trap...
What a stupid pile of crap!
How I wish that our courts
Had a way of testing torts.
Long before the suits are filed,
Briefs and motions get compiled...
Why not save all that expense?
Why not ask: Does this make sense?
Greedy plaintiffs, lawyers too,
Strike it rich when they pursue
Big bucks settlements... while we
Must ride to older parks to pee.
Last updated Nov 11 2004